EMS and the PoPo's brought in a pregnant lady who was picked up for a drunken disorderly to my OBT. This was FIRST THING IN THE MORNING- like 7am? Seriously? You're wasted already? She reeked of alcohol and beer. She couldn't coherently answer any questions, about how far along she was, about whether or not her water had broken (her chux and pants were soaked), about ANYTHING. I was trying to assess her, and I couldn't figure out if that was amniotic fluid on the pad or urine, so I leaned over and sniffed it. Yes, I really smelled it. The EMT looked at me with saucer sized eyes and said (off to the side away from the patient), "I cannot believe that you just smelled that crack whore's chux! You are hardcore!" I said, "I'm a (insert name of hospital here) Labor and Delivery Nurse. Damn straight I'm hardcore."
It was urine btw. Eeew. The things I do for babies.